Dandelions

Supposedly a weed, my girls continually show me the beauty of these flowers each spring as they present me with large bouquets of golden yellow with joy in their little faces.

I love them, my girls, the dandelion bouquets they bring me, as well as the subtle reminder to look for beauty in everything, the ordinary, and things that I might consider "weeds" in my life. 

 

Dandelions

Welcome children of the Spring,
In your garbs of green and gold,
Lifting up your sun-crowned heads
On the verdant plain and wold.

As a bright and joyous troop
From the breast of earth ye came
Fair and lovely are your cheeks,
With sun-kisses all aflame.

In the dusty streets and lanes,
Where the lowly children play,
There as gentle friends ye smile,
Making brighter life's highway

Dewdrops and the morning sun,
Weave your garments fair and bright,
And we welcome you to-day
As the children of the light.

Children of the earth and sun.
We are slow to understand
All the richness of the gifts
Flowing from our Father's hand.

Were our vision clearer far,
In this sin-dimmed world of ours,
Would we not more thankful be
For the love that sends us flowers?

Welcome, early visitants,
With your sun-crowned golden hair,
With your message to our hearts
Of our Father's loving care.

Frances Ellen Watkins Harper

New

A new year has begun.

Fifteen days later.  This is pretty par for the course for me. I am often fifteen minutes late. (or at least a good five)  Promptness is not one of my strengths.

I don't plan to put that on the resolution list either. That is, to be more prompt.  Not that I don't think I should work on improving.

The real reason would be that I did not make a list this year.  (last years list failed rather miserably... at least to put those things up on the blog.  many things on the list did get done eventually, just not well documented)  So I learn from past mistakes and  rather than making a specific list that I cannot keep up with I will take life as it comes.  As it is given to me, for the blessing of each day and seek what God is asking me to do, teaching me and molding me to be.  He is making all things new. 

A little recap of December:

A birthday girl.  She turned 8.  She had her favorite, strawberries, on her birthday cupcakes and a sleepover with three besties.

It is hard to come up with words to express how you love each child isn't it?  They are all so unique from each other, but my love for them is the same... unconditional.  This girl is sensitive, cheers for the underdog, has a stubborn streak, detail oriented (she is my girl that when emptying the dishwasher puts the plastic kid cups in rainbow order, love that.)  She is full of joy and can go from sulky and mad to giggling and smiling in 2.3 seconds. (and the reverse as well, ha ha) 

Happy birthday dear one. Eight will be great.

Another birthday girl.  Miss baby turned 3.  Her birthday was pretty low key (this mommy has learned to take advantage of those younger years when they don't really care if they have a big party complete with theme decorations or if a special auntie comes over to shares cupcakes and later a Skype date with Grandma D to open gifts) 

This girl has a sweetness about her.  Even through her toddler toughness where she tests every single possible boundary every single possible day she can turn on that little sweet smile and melt my heart.  She loves to be read to.  She loves tv. (uh oh)  She loves to play with her sisters and be included on their "big girl stuff."   She is sneaky and stealth and is often found with a candy she has stolen or in her sisters' room.  She is almost done with naps (this mommy is not ready for that, sigh.)  She loves to dance.  She puts on these ratty black ballet flats (that stink horribly thanks to her constant wearing of them with bare feet) and prances around the house, performing the occasional jump into the air with arms raised high... I imagine she is feeling like the most beautiful ballerina floating through the air as she does this. 
Oh and the other big news with her.... just before Christmas we officially purchased our last pack of diapers. WOW.  It has been over 10 years since we have not purchased a pack of diapers.  (there was a small window between daughters 2 and 3 that we were only buying pull-ups for a few months) AND I suppose to be totally honest, we still have to buy pull-ups for night time.  Yes, Miss baby is potty trained.  YAY! We are happy dancing around here. 

December also includes Christmas of course.  It was wonderful.  I love having young kids at Christmas, their excitement and anticipation.  More importantly the opportunity to teach them about why we really celebrate, that the best gift is Jesus and his tremendous love for us. 

On Christmas Eve day we had relaxed and celebrated with just our little family.  We normally open gifts in the evening but since Chad had the whole day off we took advantage and opened gifts in the morning while everyone was still in their pj's. 

Christmas Day was spent with Chads side.  Lots of kids, lots of food, lots of fun.

That ends 2012.  I have been rather sparse in my updates on the blog, but as I stated in the beginning of this post, I don't have a resolution list so I make no promises of more frequent posts.  Then it will be a surprise if I do, right? 

Happy 2013!

stuff

It seems like this time of year I am keenly aware of how much STUFF we have.  The prospect of adding to that pile of stuff makes me somewhat ill and so I clean through the house to get rid of some STUFF (just to make room for more?)

This is the solution Miss Baby has come up with:

To keep her stuff close to her (in case her mother comes by and decides to clean out her toy box I suppose) she stuffed her stuff in her pjs.

However, having all that stuff around can make one a bit uncomfortable. It can feel a bit stifling and makes it hard to move around. 

AND you want to be able to find your phone in case you need to make a call.

Easter blessings...

it was one of "those" weeks leading up to Easter Sunday. 

hubby felt like he was being attacked.  we believe that spiritual warfare is a very real thing and this past week we felt it in a very real way.

it was a week where little things were so much harder than they should have been, or figured they would be.  Murphy's Law appeared to be a true phenomenon.  looking at the big picture, NONE of the issues we had the past week were significant.  no one we loved was seriously injured or taken from us.      

BUT, you know what?  we still celebrated Easter! PRAISE GOD that every single day we can celebrate the amazing sacrifice and resurrection of Jesus.  what a gift.  pure grace.   Satan will not win.  Death has been defeated. 

and so we take heart, even in the times where spiritual warfare feels so real. so hard.   Jesus has overcome.  and we continue on encouraged and feeling blessed.

and guess what else! 

we took our traditional Easter Sunday quick-a-minute-after-church-self-timer-family picture on our front porch:

we took 2 pictures.  BOTH are winners, what?! an Easter miracle. ha ha.  (guess it's time to update the family picture on the side bar of this blog, huh?)

next years "list"

whoa. i have been really lacking in the blogging realm lately.  i know what will be on next years list of goals: to blog.  more than once a month.   

a little snippet of life in February:
- my birfday.  i'm 29.  forever.
- valentines day.  at home date night.  we watched a movie on Netflix after the kiddos went to bed. exciting, no?
- i went with chad on a "winter retreat" with our youth group and other local church youth groups.  it was amazingly fun and exhausting.  i forgot how fun it is to ski. i realized that i had not been skiing in just over 10 years.  the last time i went skiing was the weekend i found out i was pregnant with my oldest. (on a winter retreat for our church in WA)  it also made me miss the awesome ski slopes in Washington and BC.   (this was a little hill and a much different experience!)
- really busy month of just stuff. life. hubby in seminary is making life busier for both of us and we are really really REALLY looking forward to a break coming up this next week. 
- did i complete my February goals? nope.  1 for 2.  I read the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan.  It was awesome, convicting, and I am still wrestling with how to make some changes in my life and what it means for me to "run hard after God" on a daily basis.
I didn't clean up my paper mess and files.  I did a bit of researching on what I need to keep for paper and have a list and a plan.   Carrying out the plan seems a bit overwhelming and will probably take several "nap times" to complete.  So the piles will continue to pile up and get shoved aside.  I'm okay with that and will get to it eventually :)
- I completed Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred.  woot! Lost a few pounds and a few inches again with that.  yay me! 

i have no new pictures to share so i will add some from January:

aren't they cute?  :)  i think so.

the resolution bandwagon

i'm hopping on....

my goal list for 2012:

January -  restock my card stash
                really really clean my fridge/freezer
February - stop avoiding and actually read  my copy of Crazy Love by Francis Chan
                figure out a filing system i can maintain and take care of the paper mess
March -  scrapbook at least 5 layouts
               clean out the storage area in the utility room (i'll have to be sure to take a "before" picture, yikes!)
April - do 2 projects i have "pinned" from Pinterest
         - paint the back porch and steps
May - read 2 novels from my list of "books i want to read"
         - clean out at least 1/3 of the garage (another one to have a before picture of!)
June - run 5 miles in one workout
         - finish the front porch project
July - go "screen free" two days a week (no computer or tv)
       - ruthlessly clean out the girls' closets
August - keep a daily journal
            - clean out another 1/3rd of that garage
September - try to can or preserve something i haven't done before
               - ruthlessly clean out our closet
October -  try 4 new recipes
             - finish the garage
November  - actually be organized for Christmas this year and make the gift ideas and to do list
                  - back up my pictures and empty my camera card
December -  make a reusable daily calendar to start in the upcoming year
                - clean out the attic

MAYBE since i posted this on here for the world (or the 10 or so people that read my blog) to see, i will be more likely to complete this list.  some are for sure more lofty than others, some will be quick, some require A LOT of work.
or MAYBE i will be like the majority of other "new year resolution" makers and fall right back off the resolution wagon. 
MAYBE i will regret the day i posted this
MAYBE i will be so motivated to see things being completed i'll finish my list early
maybe maybe maybe
MAYBE i will
MAYBE i won't

and MAYBE if i care to share my successes or failures i will post each month (or so) on how i'm doing on this list.  we shall see.

i leave you with this fabulous picture of my kids:

buh-bye 2011, thanks for a great year!

a look at a few events from the year:

january =  warm pj's and sweaters, it was a cold one.

 

february = little love bug



march = going a little stir crazy from a long winter

april - all dressed up for a wedding chad officiated

may - we put a backyard in

june - we celebrated this amazing lady's 75th b-day

july - strawberry picking on the 4th

august - all the grand kiddos from hubby's side

september - harvesting from my first gardening attempt

october - enjoying a fabulous warm fall day at the park

november - raking leaves, lots and lots of leaves.

december - merry christmas!

 

we are beyond blessed.  it sounds so cliche' however it is not meant that way.  looking forward to see what God has in store for us in 2012!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!

5 things i {heart}

my lack of picture taking lately leaves me to trying to think of other things to post on my blog.

for prosperity sake (really? probably not) i will note the top 5 things that have my attention lately (well, aside from the everyday stuff like my kids/hubby/house,etc...)

1.)  running.  (WHA????) yep, running folks.  this from a girl who was a self-proclaimed non-runner and would intentionally slow down her pace in high school when running the mile so she would never have to run the 1 1/2 mile.  currently i am up to running 2 1/2 to 3 miles a day.  so no marathons or anything and i'm not super fast by any means but i feel pretty good about it and love the burst of energy it has been giving me. woot for running! (who knew?)

2.) fashion.  shocker to those friends and family who knew me long ago right? not really.  my mom teased me about changing my clothes ump-teen times a day as a little girl and i LOVED to shop with her (even just to the grocery store) i have always loved clothes and fashion and shopping.  having babies and one income kind of put a damper on that for awhile but recently i have rediscovered my love for fashion and clothes.  finding a personal style and feeling comfortable and confident in what i am wearing is awesome! something that fuels my fire for this (a.k.a. something i spend WAY too much time looking at each week) is this weekly blog linky party: http://thepleatedpoppy.com/2011/04/what-i-wore-wednesday-20/  and while i have no plans to participate in such things i do find myself running off to my bedroom to dig through my closet and try different outfits on. 

3.) thrifting.  this goes somewhat hand in hand with the above.  i have discovered the fun of "thrifting" (especially for fun vintage items) but it's a good thing there aren't too many "Goodwill" stores nearby.  we would only have beans to eat then since i would be using up our grocery money on all those great finds! this stems farther than just clothes though (actually the thrifting for clothing is a very new practice of mine... i've done it, umm, twice now i think? and i probably still prefer to just shop sales at regular stores) it started with looking for things for my house.  i really really really love vintage things. really. my most recent vintage find that i am in love with:
a little floral tea tin by Daher (here is a link to similar on Etsy cause i am too lazy to take a pic of it and upload it: http://www.etsy.com/listing/71953728/pretty-tin?ref=sr_gallery_34&ga_search_query=Daher&ga_search_type=vintage&ga_facet=vintage)  it's adorable and came home with me for only $1 :)

4.) Echo Park Paper Co. http://www.echoparkpaper.com/collections/
seriously cute kits for scrapbooking.  in the last few months i have gotten the "Walk in the Park" and the "Life is Good" kits but have my eye on several others. 

5.) Pretty Little Studio http://shop.prettylittlestudio.com/welcome/ 
related to scrapbooking again, i came across this company a couple months ago through another blog i follow and totally fell in love.  not a big surprise when you see that they are all about adorable vintage images and classic patterns. mmmm, lllloooovvve. and the BEST part of all this???  i entered one of their giveaways and WON! yay me! i won the entire "April Showers" collection and it should be arriving at my door next week sometime.  made. my. day.  can't wait to use it :) 

so that is all for now.  time to go hop on the treadmill before naptime is over :)

100

this is my 100th post. yay me????

in other news:

my husband is the bestest.

he just rescued a bird out of our fireplace.

this bird has been haunting me for over 24 hours.  i believed it to be a bat.  i strongly dislike bats. really realllllyyyyy strongly dislike them.   i had visions of it attacking me in the night.  ripping my babies out of my arms.  (k, that may be just a smidge dramatic)

BUT it was a sweet little bird.

a mute bird apparently, as it never made a peep giving us the slightest clue that it was not a bat. an icky gross disgusting foul bat.

it just fluttered it's wings trying to escape the dark.  sounding like a bat. a detestable bat.

now it is free, thanks to my brave, tennis racket and plastic bag armed hubby. 

he rocks.

my world. ;)

that is all

i {heart} Arla

We have been back into "normal" life/routine for about a week now.  God truly blessed us throughout our time apart as Chad was at seminary for 2 weeks.  I was overwhelmed with support from family, friends and our church family. (you know, a good indication that you are majorly blessed is having a list a mile long of thank-yous that need to be written) Chad felt affirmed in his decision to pursue a Masters of Divinity while he was there and really enjoyed meeting his "cohorts" and professors face to face.   I'm still glad it's done though ;)

So anyhoo, back to my topic of this post.  Arla.

She was my traveling companion last week when we flew to meet up with our hubbies in Michigan. (her guy is in his 3rd year of the same seminary program) She is the kind of person that is easy to talk to and you feel like you have known her for years after only spending a few minutes with her.  She makes you feel like a good friend right from the start.  I think she is a super-woman.  She works in ministry full time plus some.  She has 4 kiddos, 3 of whom are in that "busy stage" of activities and school functions they can't drive themselves to.   She is a crazy crazy busy busy woman.  Yet, she takes time to listen to people and love up on them when they need it.  She keeps a sense of humor and calm demeanor through it all.   Seriously, she is SUPER funny and laid back.

Now on to my day, last Wednesday.  I told Arla I would leave my house at 5:30am to pick her up.  After watching the weather like a nervous nellie I had decided I would leave at 5:20am instead to give myself some time.  I set my alarm for 4:20am to give myself plenty of time to get all prettied up for Chad.  I hardly slept and saw every hour on the clock.  I looked at the clock at 3:50am and then the next time I looked it was 5:04am.  WHAT? HOW?  ugh. seriously. I decide that a shower is a must and my plan for 5:20am is not gonna happen.  I get ready at the speed of light (amazing how fast it goes when you don't have anybody else to get ready but yourself) and was backing out of my driveway at exactly 5:30am.

When I pick Arla up I am still a bundle of nerves I ask her to drive for awhile, even though the roads are totally fine.  She agrees cause she's cool like that.  Off we go.  After a bit the van starts "bottoming out" and scraping the road.  Weird.  It happens sometimes when we are loaded down with people in every seat and luggage to the roof, but not regularly.  Arla is thinking it's snow/ice built up on the bottom of the van and as we approach a small town she pulls over at a gas station so we can kick it off. 

Nope. No snow or ice down there.  Just a flat tire. ugh. seriously.   I had prayed REALLY hard for clear roads to the airport but I had neglected to pray for functioning and trouble free vehicles.  Lesson learned.

I run inside the gas station to see where their air is and am told they have none. In fact, there is no air for at least 6-8 more miles.  ugh. seriously.  

Then I remember I have our little air compressor thing in the van but have no idea how to use it.  Arla pipes in "Oh I do!"  cause she is awesome like that.   She fills the tire and we say a little prayer that it will get us to the airport (which is another 1 1/2 hours away)  We make it about 5 more miles down the road and it starts to bottom out again.  ugh. seriously.  

We pull over on the next exit and Arla proclaims that we need to put on the spare tire.  awesome.  how do we do that?  "Oh, I know how to change a tire, my dad taught me when I was younger."  See? AMAZING woman I tell ya!  She can even change a tire. On a side note, I am pretty sure my dad showed me how to change a tire as well, however I must have been a bit distracted during that demonstration and thinking that I would never need to truly remember such skills.  Lesson learned.

We made good progress and considered signing up to be on a pit crew for NASCAR.  Especially considering it was a whole 2 degrees outside.  (that would be Fahrenheit and before factoring in wind chill, ugh, seriously.) 

Time to get the spare off... at this point I am searching in the back of the cargo area of  my van for a way to get to the spare out and not able to see where to access it.  Arla in her vast knowledge and smarty pantness says we have to get it unscrewed from underneath.  Awesome.  We are parked on the side of the road in snow and gravel, it's still dark and it feels like the Arctic tundra out.  However, amazing Arla lays down under my van in her heels and starts trying to unscrew the tire.  But it's stuck.  I try taking a whack at it with the "tool" thingy we have been using (see?  i don't even know what that is really called).  Still stuck.

We get back in the van to warm up and start making phone calls for help. A gentleman pulls over and tries to help.  He has no gloves and just a light jacket on.  (bless his heart he gave his gloves to his brother)  He makes a bit of progress but it's still really stuck on there so we send him on his way since we have called the state patrol for help and they are "on their way."  As we are waiting for the state patrol to arrive another dear soul pulls over to assist.  He takes a look at it and after cussing out the whole "spare tire" being kept under the vehicle thing, tells us he owns a trucking company just down the road and right next door is a tire shop.  AWESOME! 

We hop in with him and haul the flat tire with to see if it can be repaired (which by the way, had just been repaired two days earlier.)  Nope.  It's shot.  BUT they have 1 used tire that will fit.  SOLD!   Mr. Trucker owner brings us back and puts it on for us and away we go.  Just a little 2 hour pit stop on the side of the road.

We missed our flight but we were allowed to go stand-by on the next flight scheduled to leave 4 hours later than our original one.  We ate a relaxing lunch and reveled in the fact that we had made it to the airport and we were warm and safe.   Flight went great, rental car was still there for us when we arrived and after only one wrong turn out of the airport we made the 3 hour drive to meet up with our hubbies.   (again, awesome Arla drove us through "lake effect snow" with perfect calmness, despite the fact that her traveling companion was hiding her face behind the map and gripping the dash on occasion) 

On Thursday we hung out much of the day while hubbies were in class.  To make her even more awesome in my eyes I find out that she loves antique stores and thrift stores just like me! YAY.  Awesome, awesome day.  Antique & thrift store shopping, yummy food, good coffee and amazing Arla for company.

SOOOO, that is why I {heart} Arla.  She is the coolest.  love. her.  girl crush love. love. LOVE.  :)

The end.

Hello 2011

this year has begun with a challenge for me (and my fam).  chad started a distance learning seminary program this past fall and twice a year he has to go to Michigan to take "intensives" for two weeks.  he left jan 1 for the first round of intensives.  happy new year to us, right? 

well, so far so good.  it is a challenge, that's for sure.  but i am surrounded with supportive people and chad is doing well over on his end too.  each day passes full of blessings big and small and brings us closer to reuniting. 

the biggest challenge for me is the nights.  for a long time i have had issues with falling asleep at night and fear.  fear of what?  when i was young i was afraid of fire, the boogy man, etc... and i would wake up in the night and stand by my mom and dad's bed, staring at my mom until she "felt" my presence as mom's do and let me climb in bed with her.  in high school and college i hated being the last one to go to bed.  when i went out with my friends i was relieved when i came home and found someone waiting up for me.  quite often if i was last to go to bed i would lay awake in fear that someone was going to break in to the house.  fast forward to married life.  the first time chad left for a few nights our dog Norman came to be ours.  chad was in California at a conference and i couldn't sleep at night.  i was so scared someone was breaking into our house.  by the last day chad was gone i went temporarily insane and went and bought a puppy. (because everyone knows cute little beagle puppies are known for their fierceness and protective skills, right?)  well, each time chad is gone i face this challenge and manage to get through it.  some nights are better than others. i've tried lots of things, sleep-aids, "sleepy tea," meditation, etc...  however, this summer chad was gone on his second mission trip for the summer and i broke down while he was gone.  i had two horrible nights in a row.  feelings of terror in the night are not fun. i felt so alone and scared.   i had a night terror where i literally felt "something" on top of me breathing heavily in my ear.  i prayed it away, but that feeling of sheer terror stayed.  the next day i was feeling so full of anxiety i could barely function.  i asked my mother-in-law if i could come stay at her house.  i packed us all up and headed to her house for a few days, running back and forth to my own house to let the dog out and such.   i thought once chad was back i would feel that big sigh of relief as i always did when he returned.  this time however was different and that feeling of anxiety didn't go away.  it came and went.  some days i feel completely normal.  some days i just went through the motions of taking care of my family, doing just the bare minimum of what has to be done.  as time passes the bad days are occurring less frequently i think.  i dreaded this trip chad is currently on for months.   my mother-in-law promised me she would stay with me if i wanted. (yes, please) my friends also assured me they would stay with me if she couldn't.  but i still dreaded this trip.  anyhoo, here i am smack dab in the middle of it.  i have not spent one night alone yet.  i have slept each night without fear thanks to my friends and my grandmother-in-law (who is staying here since she lives right in town vs. my mother-in-law who would have to drive back and forth).  i am so so SO grateful to them for their help.  but there is a voice inside me that keeps telling me i am a failure.  i am weak.  if i just had better faith i wouldn't have to be afraid and i could stay by myself.   i don't like that voice. 

i'm not sure of my point in writing all this.  confession?  venting?  i wish i knew how to get past my fear.  maybe that is my reason for writing this.  i am looking for answers. for help. for assurance that i'm okay.

for now i will take it one day at a time.  grateful that i don't have to be alone at night.  blessed by friends and family.  trying to be okay with needing help. i try my hardest to live by these verses that I have memorized over the past 6 months:
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34
"In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety."  Psalm 4:8
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I say it again, Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all! The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:4-7

anyhoo.  enough about my "issues"  (i also have an irrational fear of driving in snow.  there.  all my confessions are out in the open) 

so yesterday (or day before?) i get miss j out of her crib in the morning and she says to me "daddy is missing!"  i respond, "yes, he's still at school"  she again says "daddy is missing! we need to go catch him!" 

funny girl.

a typical moment: mouth open talking, crazy hair, insisting on wearing her hood "hat" all day long, hoarding toys up on the table where her baby sister can't reach them, blankie and "baby" -the garage sale free-box bear that she has attached to, nearby.   thanks girly for both driving me insane and keeping me sane each day.

2010 - Taking Inventory

Tonight we had our "Old Year's Service" at church and the Pastor reflected on "taking inventory."   It was a great message that encouraged me in several ways. It also reminded me of my goals for this past year and I thought I should revisit those before I adopt new goals (or continue the old ones) for 2011.

2010 goals from previous entry:

1) feed my family in the healthiest way possible for as cheap as possible

the verdict:  still a work in progress.  i believe this will continue to be an up and down process for us. sometimes i am "gung-ho" and declaring that my family will consume green smoothies daily for the rest of our lives and then other days i have no drive and my kids end up eating boxed mac-n-cheese and the thought of a green smoothie makes me gag. it also seems there is always new information about what is "healthy" and a lot of things conflict with each other.  what i do know for sure:  fresh fruits and veggies are ALWAYS healthy.  I think this fact will make it's way into my 2011 goals.
things i did do for this include: 
 -religiously reading labels and evaluating if it is something worth buying nutrition-wise
 -for months i made my own yogurt.  currently on a break from this as the last time i made it a couple months ago it sat in the fridge until it was inedible and eventually thrown out.  i plan to start making it again in January as i believe it is pretty healthy (and frugal!)
 -i tried to remove as much processed food from our diets as possible.  no more crackers for snacks unless i make them from scratch (did this a couple times... A LOT of work for so-so crackers) no more pop for chad and i, little to no high fructose corn syrup, i started making our own granola bars (another thing i have ceased to make for awhile but plan to start up again), i try to use organic whenever possible and "healthier" baking ingredients like whole-wheat flour and sweeteners such as honey or pure maple syrup.
 -i read several books (or am in process of reading them cause they are HUGE textbook like books) including, Real Food by Nina Planck, Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon (hoping to go see her speak in February!!!), The Green Smoothie Diet by Robyn Openshaw and The World's Healthiest Foods by George Mateljan
 -i make a weekly menu plan to avoid the "it's 5pm, what do we have for dinner tonight, I'm too tired to make anything, let's just order pizza" as much as possible (still happens though!)  which makes us eat a more well balanced diet and it's cheaper.

2) lose the baby weight

the verdict:  nope.  didn't happen.  extreme frustration with this as i feel like my body is rebelling against all efforts i make.  pretty much makes me want to not even try.  but I'm pretty sure this will turn up in my 2011 goals as well.
what i did do:  in the late winter/early spring i started exercising and was up to jogging a mile straight (hadn't done that since high school) but then the bathroom reno happened and i quit.  i went through various phases of changing my diet and did a "cleanse."  this fall i did Jillian Michael's "30 Day Shred" and then continued to exercise regularly once I was done with it.  we got a new treadmill (though we are on our second new one and it still isn't working properly, ugh!) and i am back to jogging again but my frequency is not as high as it should be.

3) make our house a home (various house projects)

the verdict:  another one that will always be in process.  but i will say that this house feels much more like "home" than it did a year ago.  new projects will always be there though. 
I'm not going to list out what i did do, cause honestly, other than our main floor bathroom reno, i don't really remember everything. 
Churning in my brain is a blog post that would involve documenting where our house is at now and what i hope to do with it over the next year but we'll see if that ever comes to fruition.

So that was as far as I got on official goals for the year.  I am glad that I at least put effort into each one continuously throughout the year even if none of them were "completed."  (I don't think 1 and 3 could be anyway for as vague as they were) 

This next week, I believe will be spent contemplating what I dare hope for in 2011 ;)

thankfulness

just a little reflection on thankfulness on this day of thanksgiving. 

our pastor this morning said something that resonated with me and i have been dwelling on it all day.  he said "we should be grateful for dirty dishes..."  and i thought, "huh. am i grateful for the dirty dishes that are piled up high in both sides of my kitchen sink at home right now?"

not so much. 

but i should be.

because having dirty dishes means that we have an abundance of food to eat to make those dishes dirty. 

i am thankful for heaps of laundry because that means we have more than enough clothes to cover our bodies and keep us warm, soft sheets and blankets to sleep on in our comfy beds, and fluffy towels to dry ourselves off after our daily hot shower.

i am thankful for sticky dirty floors to mop because that means i have a strong and safe home that gives me shelter each day. 

i am thankful for icky toilets and toothpaste covered sinks to clean because that means i have running water to keep us clean and sanitary.

i am thankful for dust in my house because that means i have "stuff" i love to showcase and entertain myself and family with.

i am thankful for the daily mess in my bedroom of a bed to make and clothes to put away because it reminds me that i have the love of my life to share that room with.

i am thankful for everyday messes, the "art cabinet" that is overflowing with paper, the toy that jams into my foot when i step on it, the sticky spots on my table and smudges on my windows because that means i have been gifted with four daughters who i love more than i can possibly grasp.

i am thankful for my tears and anxieties because it means God gave me a heart and a soul that feels.

i am thankful when i mess up because it reminds me of God's grace and forgiveness through Jesus Christ.

i am thankful for all of God's good gifts (SO many more than i mentioned above), whether they seem "good" or not.  it is all in how you choose to view them.  my prayer tonight is that God gives me the grateful heart that chooses to see ALL things as blessings. 

i {heart} being shredded

quick post. 

i am joining in on this 30 day challenge:

Balancing Beauty and Bedlam

i am on day 3 of doing Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred workout DVD.  Every muscle in my body is screaming out at me to knock it off already.  but ya know miss baby is 9 months old.... and the whole saying of 9 months on, 9 months off is not applying to me apparently.  so i am telling my muscles to kick it in gear and shape up. 

i took my measurements the first day and at the end of 30 days i will take them again and report on inches lost.  hopefully some pounds lost too ;)

anyone else want to join me?

awesome august

i had a fabulous month of august,

i spent the entire month with my mom around and was able to see all 4 of my sisters at some point during the month as well. 

hence i have been a bit too busy to have a chance to blog about it.  i plan to play catch-up over the next two weeks.  so stay tuned for lots of updates! :) 

No Foolin'

Exactly one year ago, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive.

Exactly one year ago, I had a bit of a “freak out” minute after seeing said positive test.

Exactly one year ago, Chad thought I was playing an April Fools Day joke on him after seeing said positive test when he got home from youth group.

Exactly one year ago, I learned of the blessing of life growing inside me. Praise God.

lessons learned this week

it's been a long week. (and it's not even over)

the following are what i would like to take mental note of for future reference:

1) always put the diaper on straight.

you would think that after having 4 kids i would have learned this. apparently not. dd #3 + crooked diaper + poo = big gross mess. (i will spare you the details)

in my defense, it is often like trying to diaper an angry octopus with her limbs and body flailing about as she tries to escape so she can run wildly nekked through the house. just getting the diaper on is already an accomplishment.

2) have zero expectations when there is illness in the house. try to survive, don't worry about the thrive.

4 out of 6 of us have had a stomach flu bug this week (the two youngest have been spared -so far) dd #2 developed a "cough-cold" as she calls it and is coughing INCESSANTLY (drives me bonkers, but i know she can't help it) and dd#4 has been renamed the snuffleupogas a.k.a. snuffy a.k.a. her nose runneth over.

i had great goals for this week. i have a weekly routine of household tasks i take care of each day and have been a great big slacker in that since dd #4 came to the scene. my goal this week: actually take care of each task, each day. shouldn't be too hard. this week = impossible.

along with that i had several "home improvement" projects i wanted to do as well as start scrapbooking again and oh, yeah make a few cards. (still have a couple baby thank yous to get out)

NONE of those things have been accomplished. i have a lamp re-do half done, have not so much as glanced at my craft area, the "touch-up" painting is still needing to be touched up and as far a cleaning my house? lets just say i wouldn't let you near my house to see. my personal health goal of exercising 5 times each week... umm, yeah. the goal of preparing healthy meals and snacks for my family? we've had take out pizza two nights in a row and tonight will be.... (insert drum roll) leftover pizza.

3) find humor in the chaos.

phone ringing + dd#1 puking + dog whining at my feet to go out + dd#4 spitting up onto dog's back + dog shaking off spit up effectively spraying it everywhere + watching for extremely nice church member who is dropping off dinner for us (pizza!) and seeing him drive slowly by the house and then continue driving away = sit down and laugh and remember that someday i will look back at these moments and long for them,

and these moments too.

i {heart} no good, really bad days

seriously. i do. (just not when i am having one)

this entry on my blog is just a little (okay, maybe not so little) blurb about a really bad day a few weeks ago. read on if you would like.



it was going to be a "fun" day. dd #2 was going to get her haircut and then we planned to have lunch at the bakery with grandma d before pre-school. woot woot, an outing for me! (it doesn't take much to thrill me these days)

the "getting out" part of life is limited these days and it takes A LOT of work to actually do this successfully. on this particular morning it was not successful. our van, with which i have a love/hate relationship with, was for sure on my hate list. we got all bundled up and trekked out to the garage and it decided not to start. soooo... no outing for us and we all trekked back into the house (mind you it is below zero cold out and i have a newborn babe to carry along as well as my mother who had been wearing a scarf INSIDE the house not as a fashion statement but because she was chilled) now i had a very sad daughter who was probably more bummed about not having a doughnut with grandma than missing her haircut.

a bit later as i am still thinking mean thoughts about our van, i switch the laundry and then head back upstairs to chat with my mom. as i am talking to her i notice that my wedding ring is broken. the large central diamond is missing.

heart sinks. big lump forms in my throat. pit in my stomach forms.

i head back down to the laundry room to stop the washer just in case it is floating amongst the clothes. through my tears i begin taking out each article of clothing to check for the diamond. wallowing in feelings of despair and self pity my dear hubby calls and i have to tell him why i am so upset.

he comes straight home. cause that is the kind of man he is. the best kind.

we search. everywhere. including the garbage. (ick)

i give up. to me, it is harder than looking for a needle in a haystack because at least then you have a defined space to look in. i had no idea when or where i lost the diamond that morning. it could have been anywhere in the house or even outside buried in the mass of snow piled up from the christmas blizzard.

chad had to go back to work and as he was about to leave he looked down on the kitchen floor and just in front of the stove was the diamond.

WOW.

big hugs, joy, relief.

time to switch the laundry. i take the load out of the dryer and the first thing i pull out has strange pink and purple spots on it. huh. that wasn't there when i put that in the dryer. i take the next thing out, it too is sporting new pink and purple spots. ugh. a remnant of a crayon wrapper comes out next. SUPER. the entire load of non-bleachable clothes has purple and pink crayon all over them. seriously.

grandma d assures me that this is the 3rd bad thing to happen today and this would be it. (cause bad things happen in 3's, right?)

i just want to crawl into bed and have the day be done already. (it's only noon)

i decide to give up on doing anything productive and get online, see what is happening on facebook, fully intending to tell everyone "what's on my mind."
i notice that several of my WA facebook friends have joined a group that is praying for someone. after a little research i realize that 3 little girls no longer have a daddy. a young wife is now a single mom to those 3 little girls. the brother to one of my classmates from high school died in a horrible farm accident that morning leaving behind his wife and 3 little girls.

i cannot fathom the pain. the loss.

my no good, very bad day? not so bad anymore.

i say a prayer of thanks to God for my family, all safe and sound, surrounding me with joy and love.

when i go to bed that night and i drop my toothbrush on the floor and the "spin" part of the brush cracks off, i could care less. i toss it in the garbage, grateful that my kids are safely tucked in their beds, my husband snoring in ours.

so you see, that is why i {heart} those kind of days. now, each time i see my newly fixed, sparkly wedding ring or the pink and purple spots that are stuck to my favorite shirt (despite valiant attempts to remove them) and my daughters snazzy, cute haircut, i am reminded of this day. reminded of the lesson learned. life is a precious gift. material things mean nothing. thank you Jesus for my family, my friends, my life and all i {heart}