thoughts of a sugar addict

so i've nearly completed my sugar free day.  it is currently almost 10pm and i have not had any refined sugar today. 

i wish i could say it was easy, or no big deal.

but it wasn't.

it was hard.

i felt deprived.  my mouth physically craved something sweet.

i was (and am) annoyed at the fact that i felt this way. to feel so mastered by something that it consumed my thoughts and made me cranky and short tempered with my kiddos is disturbing to me.

i didn't follow my "menu plan" as i intended.  i ate a banana in there, i tried a cup of coffee with just cream (blech) but at least it staved off any caffeine headaches, i discovered that my frozen sprouted bread has no sugar at all (YAY!) so i had the sad little end pieces that have been there for months, i had buttered whole wheat noodles and peas with my grilled salmon, and instead of carrots with ranch (even my "healthy homemade recipe" for this has sugar in it. gah) i had tortilla chips with pico de gallo and sour cream.

the saddest thing after eating ALL that nourishing and good for me food, mentally i was not satisfied. lame, i say. very lame.

i'm not sure what my next step is. i wish i could say that i will continue this tomorrow.  but i don't really want to.  at least not tomorrow. i want to have birthday cake with miss j tomorrow.

well, good night and SWEET dreams ;)