seriously. i do. (just not when i am having one)
this entry on my blog is just a little (okay, maybe not so little) blurb about a really bad day a few weeks ago. read on if you would like.
it was going to be a "fun" day. dd #2 was going to get her haircut and then we planned to have lunch at the bakery with grandma d before pre-school. woot woot, an outing for me! (it doesn't take much to thrill me these days)
the "getting out" part of life is limited these days and it takes A LOT of work to actually do this successfully. on this particular morning it was not successful. our van, with which i have a love/hate relationship with, was for sure on my hate list. we got all bundled up and trekked out to the garage and it decided not to start. soooo... no outing for us and we all trekked back into the house (mind you it is below zero cold out and i have a newborn babe to carry along as well as my mother who had been wearing a scarf INSIDE the house not as a fashion statement but because she was chilled) now i had a very sad daughter who was probably more bummed about not having a doughnut with grandma than missing her haircut.
a bit later as i am still thinking mean thoughts about our van, i switch the laundry and then head back upstairs to chat with my mom. as i am talking to her i notice that my wedding ring is broken. the large central diamond is missing.
heart sinks. big lump forms in my throat. pit in my stomach forms.
i head back down to the laundry room to stop the washer just in case it is floating amongst the clothes. through my tears i begin taking out each article of clothing to check for the diamond. wallowing in feelings of despair and self pity my dear hubby calls and i have to tell him why i am so upset.
he comes straight home. cause that is the kind of man he is. the best kind.
we search. everywhere. including the garbage. (ick)
i give up. to me, it is harder than looking for a needle in a haystack because at least then you have a defined space to look in. i had no idea when or where i lost the diamond that morning. it could have been anywhere in the house or even outside buried in the mass of snow piled up from the christmas blizzard.
chad had to go back to work and as he was about to leave he looked down on the kitchen floor and just in front of the stove was the diamond.
WOW.
big hugs, joy, relief.
time to switch the laundry. i take the load out of the dryer and the first thing i pull out has strange pink and purple spots on it. huh. that wasn't there when i put that in the dryer. i take the next thing out, it too is sporting new pink and purple spots. ugh. a remnant of a crayon wrapper comes out next. SUPER. the entire load of non-bleachable clothes has purple and pink crayon all over them. seriously.
grandma d assures me that this is the 3rd bad thing to happen today and this would be it. (cause bad things happen in 3's, right?)
i just want to crawl into bed and have the day be done already. (it's only noon)
i decide to give up on doing anything productive and get online, see what is happening on facebook, fully intending to tell everyone "what's on my mind."
i notice that several of my WA facebook friends have joined a group that is praying for someone. after a little research i realize that 3 little girls no longer have a daddy. a young wife is now a single mom to those 3 little girls. the brother to one of my classmates from high school died in a horrible farm accident that morning leaving behind his wife and 3 little girls.
i cannot fathom the pain. the loss.
my no good, very bad day? not so bad anymore.
i say a prayer of thanks to God for my family, all safe and sound, surrounding me with joy and love.
when i go to bed that night and i drop my toothbrush on the floor and the "spin" part of the brush cracks off, i could care less. i toss it in the garbage, grateful that my kids are safely tucked in their beds, my husband snoring in ours.
so you see, that is why i {heart} those kind of days. now, each time i see my newly fixed, sparkly wedding ring or the pink and purple spots that are stuck to my favorite shirt (despite valiant attempts to remove them) and my daughters snazzy, cute haircut, i am reminded of this day. reminded of the lesson learned. life is a precious gift. material things mean nothing. thank you Jesus for my family, my friends, my life and all i {heart}
Friday, February 5, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
christmas present, christmas past
2 very different Christmas'
Both wonderful and full of beauty and blessings.
last year's scenery:
this year's scenery:
family picture last year:
family picture this year:
our "baby" last year (her first Christmas):
our "baby" this year (her first Christmas):
the cousins we celebrated with last year:
hmm... so apparently emailed pictures are itty bitty
the cousins we celebrated with this year:
Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow... no matter where or with who we celebrate, may we be grateful for the amazing gift of his Son.
Both wonderful and full of beauty and blessings.
last year's scenery:
this year's scenery:
family picture last year:
family picture this year:
our "baby" last year (her first Christmas):
our "baby" this year (her first Christmas):
the cousins we celebrated with last year:
hmm... so apparently emailed pictures are itty bittythe cousins we celebrated with this year:
Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow... no matter where or with who we celebrate, may we be grateful for the amazing gift of his Son.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Finally.......
So as of today she is 3 weeks old. I am finally getting around to "announcing" her on my blog. I also want to tell a little of her birth story so when the day comes 20 years from now when i get around to scrapbooking her I will have something to look back on.
But here she is our 4th beautiful daughter.
9lb 7oz, 23" -our biggest baby by far!
her fingers are sooo long! and her nails already need to be clipped ;)
She's perfect and fits right into our family.
We are so incredibly thankful to God for blessing us with her and giving us the job of being her mommy and daddy.
the birth story.... WARNING: VERY LONG!
so on monday the 7th of december i had a doctors appointment... still dilated to a 2 and 50% effaced. after much discussion we decided that we would come back on thursday the 10th to be induced. feelings of relief and frustration consumed me for the next couple days. relief that there was an end in sight and we could plan to have child care arranged for our kids but frustration that once again my body had "failed" and wouldn't go into labor on it's own. the night before we were set to go in i went into a self-pity party and whined about how it seems that i kept reading these great birth stories of women who have some slight contractions in the evening, go to bed, water breaks in the night, they take their time getting to the hospital and are dilated to a 4 or 5 when they get there, get their epidural and labor in ease for a few hours and finally push out a beautiful healthy baby sometime in the afternoon. "why can't i experience that?" i clearly remember saying to chad. he assures me that no matter the "how" having a healthy baby, safely delivered, is the main point. which i know. but still...
we go to bed wednesday night and set the alarm for 6:50ish am. i had been having "stronger braxton hicks contractions" off and on for several days. i woke up at 3am (as typical for the last week or so) and my mind was consumed with thoughts of the upcoming day. the "what if's" playing through my head made it impossible to fall back asleep. i watch the clock count down to the time the alarm would go off. when it does, chad and i talk for a minute and then i decide i need to get into the shower so we can be ready on time. as i roll out of bed i feel a gush....
me: "huh? what is that?"
chad: "nooo way."
me: laughing... "i think so."
i get to the bathroom and i'm pretty sure it had to have been my water breaking. i shower and occasionally feel some contractions but not painful ones. we get ready as planned and take our oldest daughter to school and then head to the hospital. we check in as scheduled and as the nurse is showing us back to our room i tell her that i think my water broke. i get all settled in and shortly after 9am my doctor arrives to check me. i am at a 4 and 75% effaced :) i'm not really feeling contractions too much but some light ones are showing up on the monitor.
we decide that i should walk around for awhile and bounce on the birthing ball as well to see if contractions pick up. an hour later she checks again and i am between a 4 and a 5 and we continue with the plan of walking the halls and bouncing on the ball. chad is a trooper as we trek the whole 2 hallways of our small hospital about 50 bazillion times! i feel contractions get a bit stronger but nothing that makes me stop in my tracks to breathe through them. fast forward to around 1pm. i am checked again and am between a 6 and 7 and 100% effaced. i decide that the past few contractions have been stronger and i should get an epidural since it takes awhile for the anesthesiologist to get there. i get into the whirlpool tub to labor in there until my epi arrives. 2:10ish pm my epi gets here and i am feeling some harder contractions but again nothing that i can't get through pretty easily. at 3pm the epidural is administered but only taking on one side of my body (that is a really weird feeling to have contractions on only one side of your body!) i get checked again so they can decide if they need to redo the whole epidural or just give me something different if i am far enough progressed. i am at a 9 already and she said there is a bulging water sack as well which she breaks. the epidural finally takes on my other side and i don't feel anything. 45 minutes later my doctor checks again and there is just a tiny lip of cervix left and baby is at zero station. thinking i would be pushing very soon everyone stands around the room chatting and waiting for me to feel pressure or the urge to push. but nothing is happening. the extra nurse leaves and my doctor decides to go back to her clinic patients and i get on the ball again to try to get the baby to drop some.
at 5:20ish pm my doctor comes back and decides that since the baby isn't dropping very quickly i will need to push her down myself. we set up to push and even though i feel nothing i start pushing. after several pushes she is crowning and i am definitely feeling lots of pressure! at 5:42pm after about 20 minutes of pushing, our baby girl arrives! 9lb 7oz, 23", head measures 14". So LONG story, short. God gave me just what i wanted, a "perfect" birth story to go with our perfect 4th baby girl.
But here she is our 4th beautiful daughter.
9lb 7oz, 23" -our biggest baby by far!
her fingers are sooo long! and her nails already need to be clipped ;)She's perfect and fits right into our family.
We are so incredibly thankful to God for blessing us with her and giving us the job of being her mommy and daddy.
the birth story.... WARNING: VERY LONG!
so on monday the 7th of december i had a doctors appointment... still dilated to a 2 and 50% effaced. after much discussion we decided that we would come back on thursday the 10th to be induced. feelings of relief and frustration consumed me for the next couple days. relief that there was an end in sight and we could plan to have child care arranged for our kids but frustration that once again my body had "failed" and wouldn't go into labor on it's own. the night before we were set to go in i went into a self-pity party and whined about how it seems that i kept reading these great birth stories of women who have some slight contractions in the evening, go to bed, water breaks in the night, they take their time getting to the hospital and are dilated to a 4 or 5 when they get there, get their epidural and labor in ease for a few hours and finally push out a beautiful healthy baby sometime in the afternoon. "why can't i experience that?" i clearly remember saying to chad. he assures me that no matter the "how" having a healthy baby, safely delivered, is the main point. which i know. but still...
we go to bed wednesday night and set the alarm for 6:50ish am. i had been having "stronger braxton hicks contractions" off and on for several days. i woke up at 3am (as typical for the last week or so) and my mind was consumed with thoughts of the upcoming day. the "what if's" playing through my head made it impossible to fall back asleep. i watch the clock count down to the time the alarm would go off. when it does, chad and i talk for a minute and then i decide i need to get into the shower so we can be ready on time. as i roll out of bed i feel a gush....
me: "huh? what is that?"
chad: "nooo way."
me: laughing... "i think so."
i get to the bathroom and i'm pretty sure it had to have been my water breaking. i shower and occasionally feel some contractions but not painful ones. we get ready as planned and take our oldest daughter to school and then head to the hospital. we check in as scheduled and as the nurse is showing us back to our room i tell her that i think my water broke. i get all settled in and shortly after 9am my doctor arrives to check me. i am at a 4 and 75% effaced :) i'm not really feeling contractions too much but some light ones are showing up on the monitor.
we decide that i should walk around for awhile and bounce on the birthing ball as well to see if contractions pick up. an hour later she checks again and i am between a 4 and a 5 and we continue with the plan of walking the halls and bouncing on the ball. chad is a trooper as we trek the whole 2 hallways of our small hospital about 50 bazillion times! i feel contractions get a bit stronger but nothing that makes me stop in my tracks to breathe through them. fast forward to around 1pm. i am checked again and am between a 6 and 7 and 100% effaced. i decide that the past few contractions have been stronger and i should get an epidural since it takes awhile for the anesthesiologist to get there. i get into the whirlpool tub to labor in there until my epi arrives. 2:10ish pm my epi gets here and i am feeling some harder contractions but again nothing that i can't get through pretty easily. at 3pm the epidural is administered but only taking on one side of my body (that is a really weird feeling to have contractions on only one side of your body!) i get checked again so they can decide if they need to redo the whole epidural or just give me something different if i am far enough progressed. i am at a 9 already and she said there is a bulging water sack as well which she breaks. the epidural finally takes on my other side and i don't feel anything. 45 minutes later my doctor checks again and there is just a tiny lip of cervix left and baby is at zero station. thinking i would be pushing very soon everyone stands around the room chatting and waiting for me to feel pressure or the urge to push. but nothing is happening. the extra nurse leaves and my doctor decides to go back to her clinic patients and i get on the ball again to try to get the baby to drop some.
at 5:20ish pm my doctor comes back and decides that since the baby isn't dropping very quickly i will need to push her down myself. we set up to push and even though i feel nothing i start pushing. after several pushes she is crowning and i am definitely feeling lots of pressure! at 5:42pm after about 20 minutes of pushing, our baby girl arrives! 9lb 7oz, 23", head measures 14". So LONG story, short. God gave me just what i wanted, a "perfect" birth story to go with our perfect 4th baby girl.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Happy Birthday 5 year old :)
"You know, that now you are 5 you have to eat 5 bites of potatos instead of 4."
"I'll just stay 4."
"But then you can't go to Kindergarten."
"How 'bout I'll turn 5 and go to Kindergarten and just eat 4 bites of potatos."
:)
so ready or not, she's 5. (and despite her wonderful bargaining skills, she will end up eating 5 bites of potatos or beans or whatever else is healthy but detestable to her taste buds)
Happy Birthday! You bring so much JOY to our lives!
at the hotel...
we celebrated with her cousins who also have December birthdays at a hotel with a big swimming pool the weekend before her big day
on her actual birthday she picked Chuck E Cheese to celebrate :)
"I'll just stay 4."
"But then you can't go to Kindergarten."
"How 'bout I'll turn 5 and go to Kindergarten and just eat 4 bites of potatos."
:)
so ready or not, she's 5. (and despite her wonderful bargaining skills, she will end up eating 5 bites of potatos or beans or whatever else is healthy but detestable to her taste buds)
Happy Birthday! You bring so much JOY to our lives!
at the hotel... 
we celebrated with her cousins who also have December birthdays at a hotel with a big swimming pool the weekend before her big day 
on her actual birthday she picked Chuck E Cheese to celebrate :)
Monday, November 30, 2009
i {heart} real Christmas trees
growing up we ALWAYS had a real tree, it wasn't until we had all moved out that my mom decided to get a fake one (much to the dismay of some of her daughters)
i loved the search for the perfect tree each year at the neighboring tree farm and the fresh pine smell that filled the room when we set it up in the house. a family tradition that i would like to pass on to my kids.
so once again this year (a little earlier than our usual mid december outing since miss baby girl is due to arrive any day) we made the trek to a local tree farm to find the perfect tree.... and we found it :) i mean this one is perfection! fresh pine smell and all.
"I pick this one"
watching Daddy cut down the tree
"It's cold!"
decorating the next day!
i loved the search for the perfect tree each year at the neighboring tree farm and the fresh pine smell that filled the room when we set it up in the house. a family tradition that i would like to pass on to my kids.
so once again this year (a little earlier than our usual mid december outing since miss baby girl is due to arrive any day) we made the trek to a local tree farm to find the perfect tree.... and we found it :) i mean this one is perfection! fresh pine smell and all.
"I pick this one"
watching Daddy cut down the tree
"It's cold!"
decorating the next day!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
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